Ego Smasher

I think yesterday the worst thing that could have happened... didn't.

But it still was terrible! I really haven't had time to write lately. Forgive me. I wish I could tell this story in depth, from my horrified expression I masked so well... to the awkward silence... all the way down to my shooing him away.

I really have no problem turning down guys. It's a game almost. Call me terrible, because when it comes to guys that's what I am. It starts out with subtles, then it moves on to hints. If they don't catch either it moves on to my speech of how I hate the male population. Then even if they are persistent through all of those... I can at least say I admire them for daring to continue on. Then if all else fails and they still do not understand I'm not interested, then comes the ego smashing. I let them know, look I don't like you and no I don't want to go on a date nor do I want to be your girlfriend. I'm honest. I always feel a little bad (I guess I'm still at least a little human). But a lot of guys have huge egos and they don't expect a no. Wake up and smell the roses people, I don't just date anyone. Good morning, now go back to sleep. Perhaps your thoughts are wandering and wonder about how I can just so flippantly not care. Because in high school with these macho male jerks who think they can get away with whatever they want... it's all I can do. I refuse to just date based on shallow reasons. There are plenty of times, based purely on physical attraction I wanted to say yes. But alas, I require more in a fellow. Interest, common interest that is. I'm waiting for a guy worth it.

That being said, I really can quite easily turn guys down. Yet I couldn't manage it yesterday. Why? I do have a soft spot. I'm not a monster! ;]. It wasn't just a date. And I didn't say yes. I was asked to prom. You can't just say no outright to a senior guy who thought of a creative sweet way to ask you. That's just mean. I know I'm mean to guys... but still. So I gave him an "I'll have to think about it." It's really a hilarious story. You would laugh... if I had time to write about it here. Alas I don't. I'll tell you some other time.

And I can't forget the great conversation I shared with my friend Michelle. Honestly I can't figure it out, and neither can she. This is my question for the world I want answered: Why do the wrong guys always ask the right things, and the right guys never do a thing? Please, humor me, does anyone have an answer? I'm a walking example of Murphy's law. I really am. Sometimes after such a downer day I really want something good to happen to just make me smile. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Thanks wrong guys, at least you give it a shot. No thanks to the right guys... you guys just drive me insane!

Until then, adieu.