Change

I was thinking today. Haha, that's not new at all. But I was thinking about how much I've changed in the course of one year or so. I started my first job last summer. Did I start slowly? A few hours each couple days? Nope. I jumped in head first. I started working 8 hours 5 days a week a total of 40 hours a week. I like to start things immediately, it's either all or nothing with me. So I went all out. I was only 16 at the time. My parents tend to baby me and think of me as a little girl. What else is new? My parents would give me a hard time about stuff and I remember one moment that made me appreciate my sister more than I have in my whole life. I don't even remember exactly what the problem was. All I remember is that my parents were mad at me about something and my sister says, "I really think y'all should give her a break. She's never complained or whined once this whole summer about working 40 hours a week and paying for gas and or bills." It kind of surprised me she stood up for me. Not because she's a jerk but because I didn't even know she had really taken into account all I had done that summer. Of course my parents saw her point (for once they listened). After she said that it made me stop and think. I didn't even think twice about any of that. Sure it was hard, exhausting, and draining, but I never even see a reason to complain. Maybe I had reason to about having to pay for certain things I didn't want to pay for, but I never did.

Since I had such a steady job with a steady income, I also realized today how well I managed my money. I've payed for my share of things. I payed my own way to camp last summer. Sure I also spent it on frivolous things, who wouldn't? But I haven't worked all school year and I still have money from the summer. I saved almost a thousand dollars to pay for voice lessons all year. My math tutor, my best friends mom, once told me I have a beautiful mind. I was on the phone with my mom discussing something and she then told me when I got off the phone: that the way I look ahead and find answers to problems that might arise and I plan ahead is beautiful. And she went on to say a few other things that, of course, made my feel embarrassed for her praising me so. But nice. I payed for everything for my own birthday party (expensive yo). And yet I somehow managed to save enough for any spending I would want to do during the year. It's not like I'm stingy either. I'm smart with what I buy, but when I see something I really like I'll buy it and not feel guilty. So I managed my money "well" last summer.. and it wasn't even that great. This summer will be a whole new level of smarts ;]. I know what I want and I know I want to save even more. I've always been content with little. I don't need stuff to make me happy. But I do thoroughly enjoy it when I do have it. I don't throw money away, but nor do I hoard it.

But last summer I grew up a lot, I had a lot of responsibility at my job. I matured a lot last summer. It's not like I wasn't mature, because people have always told me I'm mature for my age (ever since I was in Jr. High all the way up to now). Actually lots of events in my life have caused me to see beyond the normal high school sphere of vision. I can't even explain to you what I mean. But I've changed. Not so drastically where all my friends would have noticed. But I really have. I've gained so much responsibility, insight, knowledge, lessons learned, etc. My field of vision in life has been widened. When you taste something good, you want more. I can't wait to grow up and experience all the [good] things this life has to offer. I don't want to waste my life.

I've changed outwardly too. I used to be a blond haired hollister wearing girl. Can you even imagine? Now I have short red hair and I really wear whatever I feel like wearing. Indie, emo, scene, I've heard it all. I wear what I like, if it's "in", fabulous, if it's random and out there, wonderful. I'm the queen of shoes and I love them. I like to change things up. Following each new trend is not only annoying, it's expensive. No thanks. I've had countless people not even recognize me when they first see me. It's actually pretty funny. I've changed so much.

This week, my spring break, I'm not even relaxing. I've worked yesterday and today and I'm working Thursday. Work work work. That way I can have fun with the cash I make. Not all of it of course. ;].

I'm really exhausted from the days work. American Idol is on tonight and I can't wait :]. Then I have a million movies I bought this weekend I want to watch. A Hollywood Video is closing down near my house so all the movies are $3 and under. Not too bad for movies that are $15 $20 in stores. I also bought the entire LOST Season 2 on Dvd! Now I just need season 3.

Anyways. Today was really mundane. This week has been so monotonous. Tomorrow should be fun though. Hopefully.