Conversations

So I was thinking about my friendships. A lot are kind of shallow, but not all. I guess it's due to some of my fault, I don't put in the effort to get to know them on a deeper level. Some people I just assume don't have a deeper level.

Like those girls. You know, the ones who don't have much on their mind other guys fashion and gossip. I have tons of friends like that, I can easily fit in with them and I easily stand out and they all comment on how "deep" I am when I merely say things like, "Wow I can't believe you insinuated that," or something to that effect. Geez. Or even my guy friendships. Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out at the pure idiotic conversations I have with people. Words flow from our mouths like a waterfall, but bring up anything with sustenance to the conversations and it looses momentum. Think? We're high schoolers, we don't think. Everyone spouts out words praising the latest movie or newest pop icon. I loved my time in the band at HNW just because Zach and I were really close. We had the same taste in books and he always let me borrow his favorites. We actually talked of things that were not completely pointless. Even Erin too, but once she started dating Zach she pretty much went into Zach mode and that's all she ever talks about. Of course being the girl I am I don't mind listening to everything she has to say, it's cute, but I miss our old conversations. But seriously? What is wrong with everyone my age! Everyone is so focused on today and everything feeling good. No one has anything of importance or merit to say or talk about these days. IT DRIVES ME NUTS. Of course then I have those close friends who we can talk for hours and I know them so well that I know the depth to them. Like Racheal, you see her and she seems just like a ditzy boy crazy girl. Well yes she is, but when we talk we talk about so many other things. Maybe it's just me, because I've heard her talk to other people, (yeah it's a sexual innuendo every 5 seconds).

I think I'm just sick of highschool. I'm so ready to move on to different people. I'm so ready to meet guys who aren't completely immature and have something profound to say.

But don't get me wrong, I love my pointless conversation too. Being absolutely ridiculous is quite fun.

I just mean it seems like the majority of everything is absolutely ridiculous. I think that's why I love to read so much, I can escape into another world, a world unlike this Americanized Westernized Teenage Society that annoys me so much.

This is why I never date any of the guys I ever like, most don't measure up.

Stimulating conversation. It's what I want. Most my age don't grasp that concept.

Like omgosh did you see him, he was so effing hot. I'd do him. AHHH! Shut the crap up!

Ahhh I'm so annoyed. Btw Amber(and Ash if you're reading this) this definitely excludes y'all. I probably wouldn't keep in touch with you guys if you drove me crazy :]

So I guess the whole point of this rant was to say I hate high school. I can't wait to graduate next year. And to say that girls get on my nerves at times (And yet I still love them to death, I'm crazy aren't I?) And also to say I'll never ever in my life ever find anyone to date. Seriously.

But then again we all know I'm such a pessimist.