Amber love this is for you!

An update. You should be proud. how in depth it is I don't know.

But I will say that right now I have this calm peacefulness that has settled over my heart mind and soul. Why? Honestly nothing in my life is going fabulous but nor is it going bad. It's just average. A lull. I thought my summer would be going very differently by now, but I'm happy the way it is. In fact I love my life!

I've come to so many realizations and learned so much. I've learned more about myself. You know what's the absolute craziest thing of all? I find myself less worried about everything. Yes, everything. Money, college, school in general, job, family, life, guys, everything.

Also I feel like my eyes have been opened. Opened in a way not many people would imagine. Opened in a way I can't explain on a blog, nor do I want to.

I will say for a time I had a lack of security I have no idea why or how it settled on me, especially since I've always been secure in who I am. I was still confident and not afraid of anything, but I did waver on somethings. I just wavered in personality stuff and how people perceive me etc. For a while it loomed over me like a fatal disease, slowly draining the life from me. Then it hit me one day, I figured out WHY. I'm sorry to say I can't say why here. But once I understood it was like a switch just flipped in my life. Suddenly it went from dark to light in one instance. It was amazing. Things still aren't easy but I'm ok, better than ok, joyful even!

I've learned a lot about myself, even some not so good stuff, but in learning I learn to fix it. Sure my pride was wounded but I've gotten over that because it was stupid. I'm sure none of this makes sense, but oh well!

Amberrr/Ashh, feel free to text/call anytime if you actually want to know what the heck I'm talking about! lol!

That's all for a while.